The true meaning of customer service messages

“Thank you for calling Big Stupid Company.

We value your business and look forward to serving you.

Your call may be monitored for training purposes.

Listen carefully, for our options have changed.

If you know your party’s extension, dial it now. Otherwise,

For information about our hours and locations, press 1
To use our automated telephone account system, press 2
To report a stolen or lost card, press 3
To talk with a customer service representative, press 4
To repeat this message, press 5

[4]

Scratchy musak.
Please stay on the line. All of our customer service agents are helping other customers. Your call will be answered in the order received.

Did you know that you can order our wonderful products from our website. Great deals await you at bigstupid.com

Scratchy musak.
All of our customer service agents are helping other customers. The next agent will be available to serve you in 47 minutes.

Our fall line of products come in earth tones! We have hulu knives for everyone in the family. Take a look at our web site, bigstupid.com.

Scratchy musak.
All of our customer service agents are helping other customers. The next agent will be available to serve you in 46 minutes.

Scratchy musak.
All of our customer service agents are helping other customers. The next agent will be available to serve you in 45 minutes.

Scratchy musak.

[Click]


Translation: We do not want to talk with you.

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