I would like to thank all the clueless companies who sent me junk e-mail this weekend; I now better understand myself and my needs. At the risk of tripping every other lousy spam trigger on the planet by posting this, I need to tell everyone that I don't need: a worldwide voice-VPN solution, a Simpsons talking beer opener, e- Scooters, a quick way to quit smoking, credit card debt information, monthly income using my computer, anything from Publishers Clearing House, a solution for baldness, easy to install cell phone booster, real estate tips, mortgage quotes, fishing advice, a subscription to Women's Day magazine, Stephen King's latest thriller, hundreds of lenders competing for my loan, Viagra, a merchant account, fresh email addresses on CD, glutathione, a free Dr. Seuss backpack, the best-selling and most- proven All Natural diet, fantastic savings on cartridges, Yoga Journal, an HP Optical Mouse, the loan and car I deserve, to unsubscribe by postal mail, the incredible illuminating pen, or free software from Disney. But if and when I need any of these things, trust me - you'll be the LAST to know.