February 12, 2003
Truth is stranger than fiction department
NASA has developed a snapshot of the universe when it was a baby.
- In a nutshell, the universe is 13.7 billion years old, plus or minus one percent; a recent previous estimate had a margin of error three times as much. By weight it is 4 percent atoms, 23 percent dark matter ? presumably undiscovered elementary particles left over from the Big Bang ? and 73 percent dark energy. And it is geometrically "flat," meaning that parallel lines will not meet over cosmic scales.
Well, THAT sure clears things up. The universe is 4% atoms and 96% "dark matter." Sciences have no clue as to what dark matter is. From now on, when my plans don't work out, I'm going to lay the blame on dark matter. It sounds much more scientific than "The devil made me do it" or "Shit happens."
When I was in France in the 60s and 70s, I smoked so many Gaulois that the second joints of my index and middle fingers turned brown with dark matter -- tar. Everyone smoked. Another report from today's New York Times:
French Move Toward Curbs on Smoking by Minors
- A "mini-revolution" is how the daily tabloid Le Parisien characterized the move today. In an effort to curb smoking among minors, the French Senate today approved a bill to ban cigarette sales to children under 16.
If passed, it would impose a $4,000 fine against vendors found selling tobacco to minors. Repeat offenders would pay double.
It would also ban the distribution of free cigarettes to minors as part of promotional campaigns and require high schools to educate students on the perils of smoking.
The average age that young people here start smoking is 14.
Young people who lie about their age to buy cigarettes would not be penalized.